How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize
