let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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