i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
