Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You need a sexual gate keeper
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
