Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Randomize