i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just gargled with NyQuil
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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