did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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