We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize