i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
