I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
