'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
