I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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