I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
