Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
