I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
