eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
