stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Randomize
