You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
