So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
