after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
