In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
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