I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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