whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Randomize