I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
