just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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