she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize