i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
