cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
