apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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