glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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