I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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