Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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