he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
