You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
