You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
