She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
