just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
