Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
