I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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