thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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