Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
