My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
