can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
