Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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