i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
