It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
