i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i out mim tonsoeep
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
