You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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