To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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