I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
