Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
