i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
