u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
