You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
