You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
