This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize