3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
