he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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