Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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