what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I am one with the molecules
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
