Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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