I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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