your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
