Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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