i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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