Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
