did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
