what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
