How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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