he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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