You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
