return my video game
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
