New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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