Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
