This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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