it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
