We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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