I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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