Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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