Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He passed out mid-signature
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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