I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
