yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
