You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize