Taylor Swift is so right about you.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
