We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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