she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
