Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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