So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
