I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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