I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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