I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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