be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
