God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
