just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
