He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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