There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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